Day 2 - Hyperdrive already!

Ah wonderful - blogger is working again.  Could only manage the title earlier on and nothing else.  Probably a darn good thing as it would have been a very long one with that old hyperdrive thing going on I think.  Anyhow, we're at the end of day 2, I still have a pack to go, I feel like I've had loads as I did extra swede cubes this evening (forgot the weight is very different raw to cooked, yesterday I weighed 200g raw weight, so today I just finished the packet!).

I'm still as excited as I was yesterday, so that's two full days on the trot of feeling as determined as I did right back at the beginning.  I want to bottle it and rub it all over me again if it starts to waiver.  I did even have a thought tonight that it would be so much easier just to eat whatever it is I want to eat, but this is about so much more than just my weight and what I look like.  It's also about what I feel like - physically - and I feel so much better with a low level of carbs.  I'm really struggling with my gynae stuff at the moment (seeing the consultant in a little under 3 weeks) and pretty sure I have adhesions interfering with my sciatic nerve.  The pain down my left leg goes through to my ankle on some days and at best is mightily uncomfortable.  It's a whole lot worse when I eat bread, so it's plain and simple really isn't it?

I've started up a countdown to Christmas weight loss challenge at work.  I was asked to do it by a few people, and it's a great focus and good practice for me to get back to my studies that I've been neglecting since my holiday.  It makes me very proud to be able to give dieting advice to others, and when I stop to consider that a year ago I was so big, it really means a great deal that others look to me to seek that advice.  It's a huge buzz and a privilege.

So, todays food - no imagination here - same as yesterday but with an extra 13 calories of swede!!

Actually... think I'll do a cold shake before bed rather than a hot chocolate today, ring the changes and all that...

Cookies & Cream Shake x 2
Chicken soup
Cheesy pasta & swede cubes
610 calories :)

Day 1 - Second time around

Been messing about for long enough, in keto, out of keto, in keto, out of keto.  Been a stressful time all around with the rest of my life and I've allowed it once again to become the focus rather than accepting that life will always bring stress, and really it's the reaction to that stress that could probably be worked on.  Tried half heartedly to follow different things over the summer, but had an epiphany last night, lots of things fell into place and it just seemed the right time to get on with it.  I fully intend to have reached my target and followed the re-feed before Christmas is upon us.  What's different I don't quite know, other than to say that it feels different, it feels like the focus I had just over a year ago when I started this journey.

Some things I need to accept, and this has been difficult.  I am considerably lighter than I was a year ago, and considerably smaller.  I have a way to go, but it's not a great big huge long way to go.  I am comfortable in 5 sizes smaller than I was.  That is some achievement.  I need to acknowledge that and allow myself to be proud of how far I've come.  It's really hard to do so, cause my head doesn't feel a bit of difference to when I was at my biggest.  Weird that, I can see the difference, it's so much its entirely obvious, but I can't feel the difference.  Wonder if I ever will.  Perhaps I just need to accept where I'm at and get on with the rest!

I'm scared to death that tomorrow I'll not be bothered again, but then again I owe this present to myself and it's not one I can ask anyone else for.  I need somewhere to log my daily intake after tracking, to make me somewhat accountable for that.  So, sorry, little bit different from before, there will be a list of packs each day, and perhaps nothing more on some days, but we'll see how it goes.  I've weighed in this morning, and may weigh in each week, not sure yet, the weight thing isn't all that important - it's how I look and how my clothes fit me that means so much more - so the task here is to get into a pair of jeans and be able to sit comfortably in them.

Todays packs:

Vanilla shake
Chicken soup
Cheesy pasta (with 200g diced swede)
Chocolate shake

Total of 586 calories :)

Day 8 - Monday - what to do?

Got up all bright and breezy and ready to go.  Then considered I'd done 3 days, perhaps today should be a shred rest day.  Also considering from a 5:2 perspective that I may do a fast day today.  I think fast days will be 500 calorie fast days rather than nothing at all, that might be a bit too far for me - however, for a 24 hour fast, I've already done 11 hours since food, so perhaps it is doable - we'll see.  I've put far too much pressure on myself in the past about what to eat and what not to eat, then just feel even guiltier when I "can't manage it" - I know now that it's not a case of that at all, it should just not be a big deal. It may feel incredibly liberating to do the 24 hours, I'm not sure.  Perhaps I should plan a bit better for doing that, not just do it on a whim, and eat my "evening" meal the previous day a little bit earlier, say 4.30pm, then I can get home from work and tuck straight in!

And, I've just noticed, I'm typing this with amazing posture! Small things, but that's a good one, my back and core are getting stronger :)

Day 7 already...

Seems I've had a lot of page views today.  I've no idea who my audience is, guess that's the mystery of blogging!  Anyhow, having looked at todays very long and rambling post, it was a bit of a random waffle that went on far too long really!

So, given I don't know who's reading this, and what you may or may not take from it, I pressed delete. Something has changed today, and somehow putting down how I feel about things and then not knowing who is reading it just doesn't sit very comfortably any more.  Think I'll stick to more fact based stuff for the time being :)

Today was day 7 of the shred, I've had my rest day on day 4, so I've done level 1 6 times.  I feel one heck of a difference in my strength and stamina already, which has surprised me a great deal.  I've made some excellent choices for my future today too, and are feeling happy and confident I'm doing the right things.

That's it, enough said.  Back soon :) 

Challenge Day 3

Ouch!

Woken this morning a little stiff but not anywhere near what I expected, got straight onto day 3 and really made an effort with the ab work, I've always struggled to engage my abs since having a huge dermoid cyst removed when I was 20, as the scar goes all the way down my rum from belly button to nunny, cutting my abs in half. So today I really focused. Now it's just 10 minutes later and I'm showered and in pain! Oooooh, those abs are hurting. I shall just keep thinking bikini, and the decreasing amount of belly bounce when I'm doing the jumping jacks.

I feel a little bit proud this morning, I just about kept up, and already on day 3 can feel a difference in my stamina.  Expect I may feel differently once I've attempted the stairs!

Challenge Day 2

Just a quickie for this morning, will write more later. Woke begrudgingly this morning and hit snooze, not very often at all I do that, the night seemed to go by very quickly. Guess that's what happens when you actually sleep through it! Had a bit of a battle with my rebellious child not wanting to do the shred this morning, even arguing with me that I could still do some exercise, just not that PLEASE. Lol, I did it anyway.  When I woke my quads felt a bit tight, my pecs a little sore, but otherwise all ok.  I did the shred and it was tough, my left knee squealed a bit, which is the point I would normally pack it in.  I didn't, I worked through it and modified for a minute til it eased then carried on.

Small things, but I feel super proud :). 28 more mornings to have this same battle I guess before GI Jane emerges all buff and shiny :)

Oh my!  Talk about not getting it!  Of course, I did all that exercise yesterday and again this morning without leaving the flat, and the nature of a flat - it's flat.  In order to get to work this morning I had to go down my regular two flights of stairs.  And there we go - BAM! - pain!  Clearly walking on a flat surface is easy peasy, actually needing to use some muscles to go up and down stairs - virtually impossible.  So I didn't get away with it after all.  Sitting down has hurt all day long, going for a pee - ouchy, loo's just a little bit too low and no handles to hang on to (not that they would have been very helpful with my screaming pecs too!).  And I've been like a furnace all day, after a year of no exercise it feels like I've really stoked the fire and revved it up to mid-winter, I've been boiling hot all day long. 

All of that is great news really, pain means I'm doing it right apparently, and I definitely need to be ramping up the fuel burning cause there is a little too much going in at the moment.  I'm aware of it, but also aware how my head works and I'm not giving it the excuse of not eating enough and feeling faint when I exercise just so I can pack it in, so it's getting what it wants for the time being, I'll cut back again when my stamina improves - Jillian reckons I should feel amazingly different by next week - we'll see.  Either I'll be heading rapidly towards GI Jane, or I'll be exercising my finger in turning the dvd on while I lay immobile on the sofa :).  Tired now, not 10pm yet, need some sleep.  So totally hope I'm not terribly stiff in the morning, want to do it all again.  In fact, I could do it now - but I won't!

 

Challenge Day 1

It's bank holiday Monday and I'm all set.  In fact I'm itching to get started.  But first things first, it is a bank holiday and I do live in a flat, wouldn't be the best neighbourly thing to do to start stomping around on the second floor at this early hour.  So, time for some more prep.  Yesterday I put the jeans on I want to fit properly.  When they do, they will be my measure - I'm really not fussed what the scales say, how I look and feel is far more important.  I know right now from eating carbs I feel terrible, and I know from the extra few pounds I've gained that I look puffy too and my clothes are feeling tight.  So, that's a much better measure for me I think.  They are a Primark size 14 and right now I can get them on, I can't sit down in them and I can barely breathe, but they go on and do up.  Andrew took some pictures of me in them yesterday - they are now on my fridge under my 30 day challenge chart ready to colour in!

All that said, I have lost a little focus on where I've come from, sometimes I just need to remember that - it's less than a year, 11 months to be a bit more precise, since I was squeezing myself into a skirt that I can now pitch and sleep under, I've tried it on again this morning just to remind myself, and I've also taken my measurements this morning - I have a Rosemary Conley magic measure with my original measurements on, in a moment I'm going to compare and hopefully be all inspired and proud all over again....

Are we ready...  under bust today is 35", originally it was 46".  Gosh!  I've lost almost a foot off my boobs! Waist today is 36", originally 47" so 11 inches gone.  Wow! Even my thighs have shrunk by nearly 6 inches each, 3 inches off my arms.  Wow, again, sometimes it's very powerful to forget that and be so surprised with that reminder.  I'll plot all these stats on a spreadsheet, wonder if I can do a graph in human shape, a pie chart doesn't really seem appropriate ;)

In total, this morning, I am 65 inches smaller than I was when I started.  I will have to use that word again - WOW - I am inspired.  Funny how our heads work though isn't it, a year ago I could just about squeeze myself into a stretchy size 22 from Primark, and now I'm fitting into their size 14 jeans.  I should add that I'm not particularly aspiring to be a Primark model or anything, it was just a little thing I had when I was bigger that if I could fit into Primark I could have a new wardrobe every week!  I also squeezed into a Monsoon 22, I could probably afford a new wardrobe with them every decade, and to be honest, the Primark clothes would probably last longer.  But my head forgets all that, even though I know it, I still feel fat and bloated and a long way from target.  Which is why, I think, that my target should be that pair of jeans.  When I can wear those with comfort, without a muffin top, and can sit down, kneel down in them, then I will be there.

So what's the plan - exercise.  I suspect I may overdo it today and then not do anything tomorrow, but I really need to do a little something every day.  I am going to attempt Jillian Michaels 30 day shred, I have no idea if I'll be able to keep up with it, my current fitness is pretty shocking, but it's got to be worth a shot, I have got to be worth that shot.  It's only half an hour a day, surely I can spare that for a new shape by my holiday?  I also have the cross trainer, and the vibroplate, my wii with zumba and several different dance games as well as wii sports - I should do boxing each day, it's a great stress reliever aside from the fitness benefits.  So, lets see how it goes.  Food wise - I'll just suck it and see, I'll feed myself enough for the exercise and make my main meals wholesome and nutritious.  Aside from that - well, no pressure, I don't want feeling faint or hungry to be an excuse for not doing a days exercise, but I won't be overeating on the wrong stuff cause I know how bad that makes me feel.

Eek!  Here we go!  Wish me luck.  I'm almost 42, the best exercise I was good at in my school years was finding a place to hide with a packet of crisps til the cross country route came back round again and I could join the back.  I'm not a natural athlete hahahaha, couldn't be further from that, I've never been fit, so this could be the start of something quite remarkable!

**Evening update**  Well, it's just occurred to me - 65 inches is 5'5" - I've lost as many inches round as I am tall.  That's just bonkers!  I did day one of the shred, I even managed to keep up for most of it, I was a little slow getting up off the floor on occasion, but did most of the jumping jacks without any accidental damage either.  Gosh it was tough, I didn't use handweights for this first go but still I could barely lift my arms afterwards!  Got the bug though, and did 10 minutes on the vibroplate later on, light toning exercises on level 7.  Then I did 20 minutes zumba on the wii.  I feel great.  I expect tomorrow I'll feel dreadful!  My plan is to do something before work, cause then I will have done it, and if I don't do anything else all day, at least I'll have done something!  Probably it'll be the shred, not sure what to do though, will have to check it out - do I just keep on doing level one til I'm ready to move up?  Should it be 10 days on each level?  Think I'll have to go google :)