Guess what I just realised!

This is nuts. A thought entered my head today and then blossomed like a sunrise, entirely illuminating everything in a slow beautiful all consuming way.  I have no idea where it came from, or if I've had it before and ignored it, but it's so simple and so incredibly life changing too.

It's ok to eat.

There you go, it's as straightforward as that. It's ok to eat. I am an adult, I make my own choices, and if want to eat something, then it's absolutely fine for me to do that. I really needed to give myself that permission, to lose the naughty or rebellious child desire to stuff as much food in as possible before getting caught and being in trouble, to stop the guilt of overeating. I know, in full and graphic detail, where my food choices lead - choose carb heavy and my body feels poisoned, choose less carbs and it starts to wake up again.  Surely I can trust myself to choose in the full knowledge of what happens afterwards?

The short and long is, I don't like this bloat, I don't like how I feel, I don't like the pain and the discomfort, I feel dreadful. I feel better if I eat less, if I choose lighter carb options. I feel better without the bloat.

So there we are, I have a choice, and I choose to make my own decisions with my own free will, without guilt and with full understanding of what happens next...

(And what happens next is I stick with my plan to be back with vlcd by mid October)

:)