So, here's how today has gone so far. On Saturday I had a fall, went my full length after tripping in a pot hole in a car park. Humiliating enough, but not a single solitary person came to my aid, there were lots about and not a single one of them even asked if I was ok. After giving myself a mental once over, I decided nothing was in too bad a shape and got up. And then noticed the looks. These people that chose to leave me on the floor were looking at me in absolute disgust, like I was so drunk I could not function, I was appalled at their reaction to me, I'd only tripped up! The only interaction I had was from one woman who pointed at the broken keyring I'd left on the floor. So, I could have had any kind of injury, broken bones, the works, and the only reaction was someone who thought I may be littering! That makes me incredibly sad, is that what our country has come to? I am willing to acknowledge that my own reaction may be slightly influenced by the impending arrival of Aunt Flo. I'd just like her to arrive and get on with it this time round. I'm going on holiday on Friday, the last thing I need to be worrying about is the perils of sitting on a plane for 4 hours and if there is enough room to "freshen" in the plane loos. Oh the joys of being a female!
Back to today. An overwhelming need to be comforted by carbs. Chocolate carbs in the main. Chocolate muffins if I'm being more precise. And so to Morrisons for stock. I've eaten 2 muffins, half a packet of golden crunch creams (half price) and a pack of cheese puffs. And that's it. Not much of a rebellion really, and I left no room for lunch. We're now on 4pm and I still feel full to the brim. My plan to eat the former weight of my left leg in junk food has backfired miserably (or joyfully, depending on your viewpoint I guess). I planned 2 McDonalds breakfast wraps followed by a chicken pizza for lunch, followed by the rest of yesterdays beef with chips and gravy for tea, interspersed with 4 muffins, the cheese puffs, assorted biscuits (I got cookies for heavens sake!) and maybe one of the packets of haribo I've got for the plane. Oh, and not forgetting the "share" size bag (share? who are they kidding?) of maltesers and minstrels for this evenings BGT viewing.
And the good part of all that - I AM AN OVEREATING FAILURE!!
Lovely, I have today discovered that I am physically and mentally incapable of having a total blow out on food. We have indeed made some progress on this plan. Ha ha ha. Think I've just woken my craving devil from his hearty cheese puff snooze and he's not too happy. Shame, I'm not listening to him again today. I had a notion a short while ago to get out my fat clothes and try them on. I'll make a mental note to do this every time I'm feeling a bit fat. I have sold the majority of my clothes, I've no intention of needing them again, but I've kept a pair of jeans I used to roll myself into at my fattest, and a skirt that used to strain so much with my belly that the zip came down when I sat - I've got a picture of me wearing it a couple of days after I met Andrew on my "before" board. Just for fun I thought I'd try both legs in one leg of the jeans. I'm sure there is something a little odd about being on your own and laughing out loud, but that's what I did. I can get both of my legs into one leg of those jeans. Wow. And the skirt, just entirely enormous, like a camouflage tent, even if I stick my belly right out in it's current bloated state, it still falls straight off. And so I'm laughing. Loudly. Aunt Flo sent along her bestest set of craving devils and I'm just laughing.
I am a thinner person than I was, considerably thinner. And there's nothing like seeing that for yourself to reinforce a fantastic achievement that has changed my life :)
No comments:
Post a Comment