This stuff isn't all that easy

Gosh, it's so hard doing normal. I keep flipping in and out of ketosis, challenging myself to have a "normal" day, trying out different carb types, seeing what happens.  I totally don't trust myself not to put my weight back on, I am so nervous of overeating but keep having a go to see what happens! Then I decide to go back to low carb, then to packs, then to juddd, arghhhhh!!!  It's going to be a longer process than I thought. Then I see people who have just plain stuck to the plan and are almost at target and I start to wish I'd done that too.

What I need to remember I think is that I am a size 12. I do not for one minute believe that, cause my size 12's are holiday clothes, mainly in light jersey. But I got 12's (ooh, and a couple of 10's) cause my 14's were looking baggy. My size 14 skinny (!) jeans are too big on the waist. All my new undies are size 12. So, I guess I must be a size 12. I won't ever manage that on the top half though, cause even though my 34 back bra's are now on the tightest hook, I need a double F cup - wont be squeezing those bad boys into a cotton button up blouse in a 12 at any point ever!  I seriously need my head to catch up, and I seriously need to bin this daft bmi thing (I'm still obese on there), I need to forget the scales and judge me on how I look in my clothes.

Today has been a shocking carb overload day, an entire day of junk, and I feel dreadful once again. I am wondering how many times I will conduct this particular experiment before I start to believe the results! But - another result that has been repeated - an overwhelming urge to walk off the effects, get moving and do some exercise.  Brilliant!  I've cycled twice this week, first time was incredibly ouch, second time enjoyable. Missed out today with the awful weather but looking forward to next time - now that's a novelty!

So, the journey is ongoing, with little twists and turns along the way.  Been thinking more about being a consultant. It's most important to me not to be a poor consultant, so it feels right to keep on thinking for now, still have some of my own questions to answer before I feel ready to answer them from others.