Day 56.....

And it's just normal.  My head has changed.  I'm doing Beck and I've done the task in the next chapter before I've even got to it!  It's official weigh in in 2 days and to date this week I've lost a pound.  That's not a great deal, particularly given the low amount of calories I'm consuming, but my head is saying that it's good, its a loss, its all going in the right direction.  And that in itself is utterly amazing.  Previously I would have only lost a pound.  Now I've lost a pound so far.

I was thinking last night, I've never ever stuck with a plan for so long without cheats.  I should confess at this point that I did have a weak moment last Thursday night, and I did do a cheat, well I felt like I was doing a cheat at the time and had that associated guilt.  I bought a large pack of very fine smoked salmon (and yes, I did get it as a treat, and yes, thats entirely wrong and I do need to do some more work on that) and had some with my pack.  And it was totally delicious so I had some more..... I felt terrible afterwards, but it was a lesson to learn.  And in the grand scheme of things, it's not much of a cheat, it was on plan, I just had a bit much.  Bought some nice electronic kitchen scales yesterday and measured the rest of the salmon into 100g portions to freeze.  I was quite surprised how much of it made up 100g, I'd been guessing before - so in reality, even my one cheat wasn't as much as I thought it was - I maybe went over by ooh, say 20g!!

I'm going to set myself the challenge next week of not getting weighed.  For a whole week.  I'm going to focus on the plan, ensure I get enough water, go back to basics, 4 packs and nothing else, and no weighing in, and see what happens.  It's something unthinkable a few weeks ago, but I feel ready for it!  Seems like a silly thing, but those bathroom scales hold the key to my approach to each day - step on them and its gone down and a good day will be in store, when they've gone up, the world ends.  It's insane, but it's how it is, and it's a habit of obsession that I need to change.  So, the challenge is set, I weigh in for week 8 in 2 days time, then no more weighing til the following Thursday.  Eek!!