Arrrggghhhh!!!!
I've been such an idiot. Another week has gone by, another week of eating too much, giving in to cravings, sticking my tongue out to Dr Beck, and more than likely another week of not losing anything. Oddly, it's been a week of completing a Beck task every day - up to Monday at least. This is entirely stupid, and needs to stop.
Trouble is, I don't know how to, or at least I didn't, until my plea for help was answered by the lovely ladies on MM who pointed out the obvious that was hidden away just inside my head, far back enough for me not to catch it - I'm scared. I'm being exposed, I'm losing my comfort blanket of fat to hide behind. I'm getting compliments which is great, but also very uncomfortable and it's really hard. So, I'm hanging on to what's left and not letting it go. And that is just plain daft. I didn't lose anything last week, that's just daft too. I've decided for weeks now that I'm hungry and need to eat - all the time - and it's just not the case.
So, today, I think I might have found the key once again, today feels different, today I've had 2 packs, and that's it. I'm making a soup from my veg allowance, I've given the last of the ham to the cats, and the cheese is in the bin. There is no cream!
And if today has taught me anything at all, it's that I want to do this, I want to be a success and I want to pursue a future career in this area. So, today is a new day, as is tomorrow and the day after that. By May, I'll be an entirely different person :)
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