It's time to set myself a new set of goals. I've learnt an awful lot about myself over the last few months, and I'm quite astonished with what I've achieved with what feels like, not a massive amount of effort. I've just returned from a weeks holiday in our beloved Içmeler, first of this year and first as a relatively thin person. There are a number of things to note from this, might take me a while to get it all down.
Firstly, a reconfirmation that me and carbs don't get along so well. The cramping pain I got from eating wraps on the plane was agonising. This returned in a milder way whenever I had more than just a little bread or dough based food (pizza for example). A little was ok, slice of toast with breakfast, but following this with a sandwich for lunch - no. So, I used the week to experiment with different combinations of carbs to see what happens. Another thing I learnt is I don't get that hungry, even out of ketosis, so I really don't need to eat all that much (I didn't - maxed at 2 meals a day with a couple of small snacks; bite size pastry with coffee, handful of crisps). Given my previous consumption of food, I was surprised. I also am now much better at recognising thirst, and the difference between it and real hunger. I understand cravings and food desires - it's so simple to fall into, particularly when eating out often - look at the menu, what do you fancy? A craving and desire please, no chips! I also discovered I have quite a large capacity to drink alcohol! I've never been much of a drinker, so didn't bat an eyelid at 6 months booze free. To be honest I've made alcohol into a monster in my head, something to fear and shy away from (there are other reasons for that, maybe I'll explore them one day). But, I like to drink beer if the mood takes (that desire thing again!) and can actually get through a fair amount too. So I have returned from holiday having drunk my former body weight in Efes Pilsner. Oops!
I learnt that I really don't much care for my flabby body, however much smaller it is. I need to tone. Excess skin trapped between the top of the very structured scaffolding of a cup sized bikini top and my armpits is not a good look, and one I really don't like. But, I also learnt that even girls who look amazing stood up or laid flat sunbathing in a little bikini also have extra bits that hang over the top of their teeny shorts when they sit. That was some comfort, and a lesson to learn on the getting thinner journey. That's the hard part, sorting my head and getting it to catch up with my body. Apart from one occasion only (wearing a jersey but still quite structured maxi in a size 10-12) I felt in my head fatter than when I was fatter! There is a lesson in there somewhere, and a little flashing warning light too... I need to remember that laid down, I can fit into jeans that are too tight for Andrew!
So, here I am, sticking to the Thursday morning weigh in. I've gained a total of 9lb since coming out of ketosis. I'm comfortable with that as a gain, it's still coming off though! Operation new Nicola phase 2 starts here. I plan to get back to S&S but with a little extra, and will exercise each day - 4 packs and a low carb meal. I started to cut the carbs yesterday, had 2500 calories, but just 68 grams of carb, and will continue this way into ketosis, then I'll cut the calories back too. 36 days til we return to Içmeler and I am targeting 1 stone 9 off for then. That will take me to a total of 81lb off on vlcd's, 109lb lighter than when I met Andrew (nearly 3 years by that point) and 129lb lighter than my heaviest weight. That's some achievement eh? A whole 9 stone 3lb person lighter!
In the words of our Turkish Tattooist friend - you are very changed this year :)
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