Been messing about for long enough, in keto, out of keto, in keto, out of keto. Been a stressful time all around with the rest of my life and I've allowed it once again to become the focus rather than accepting that life will always bring stress, and really it's the reaction to that stress that could probably be worked on. Tried half heartedly to follow different things over the summer, but had an epiphany last night, lots of things fell into place and it just seemed the right time to get on with it. I fully intend to have reached my target and followed the re-feed before Christmas is upon us. What's different I don't quite know, other than to say that it feels different, it feels like the focus I had just over a year ago when I started this journey.
Some things I need to accept, and this has been difficult. I am considerably lighter than I was a year ago, and considerably smaller. I have a way to go, but it's not a great big huge long way to go. I am comfortable in 5 sizes smaller than I was. That is some achievement. I need to acknowledge that and allow myself to be proud of how far I've come. It's really hard to do so, cause my head doesn't feel a bit of difference to when I was at my biggest. Weird that, I can see the difference, it's so much its entirely obvious, but I can't feel the difference. Wonder if I ever will. Perhaps I just need to accept where I'm at and get on with the rest!
I'm scared to death that tomorrow I'll not be bothered again, but then again I owe this present to myself and it's not one I can ask anyone else for. I need somewhere to log my daily intake after tracking, to make me somewhat accountable for that. So, sorry, little bit different from before, there will be a list of packs each day, and perhaps nothing more on some days, but we'll see how it goes. I've weighed in this morning, and may weigh in each week, not sure yet, the weight thing isn't all that important - it's how I look and how my clothes fit me that means so much more - so the task here is to get into a pair of jeans and be able to sit comfortably in them.
Todays packs:
Vanilla shake
Chicken soup
Cheesy pasta (with 200g diced swede)
Chocolate shake
Total of 586 calories :)
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