I'm feeling rather proud of myself today. I've made two very big decisions today and I feel I've given them both due consideration and weighed up the merits before reaching a conclusion. One of them is about my weight loss journey, the other one is a personal situation that has been bothering me (to say the least) for almost a year. I've handled both of them in an adult way and said what I need to say about how I feel without getting emotional about it. I was getting anxious before making a phone call I needed to make, but for the first time I actually recognised that for what it was, and not as a need for food. It was quite refreshing to acknowledge that.
The other decision - I have decided that I am not getting what I expected from LL counselling. The content itself is excellent and I'm really getting into the self help elements of it, but the actual group sessions are a bit of a let down to be honest. Group members seem to come and go, they don't contribute to the session and talk about cheating with a little giggle before we've started. I have no idea who most of these people are, there are only 2 others who have been there each time I have, and as much as I want to contribute (and do) I don't feel confortable as that bonding is impossible with such transience. So, I'm changing plans. I'm not daft enough to think I can do this alone - I don't think I can, but I do have all the tools to be able to succeed. I've decided to follow a different vlcd that has a lively online support network and see how it goes. I have lots of resources to call upon, and have a counsellor lined up for private sessions if I feel the need. I feel much happier about it all now - both situations. I actually feel like for the first time in an incredibly long time, I am in control of my life and my decisions are my own.
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